Monday, February 21, 2011

thoughts of a pensive mind

I now view my long road as a search for truth in my own heart, in the world around me, and in the bigger questions of purpose and of existence. How does one define good and evil.
What's the point of living if you can't feel alive? For that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith. And that, I fear, for any reasoning, conscious being, would be the cruelest trick of all. Every day, with every breath I draw, I am closer to the end of my life. For we are born with a finite number of breaths, and each one I take edges the sunlight that is my life toward the inevitable dusk. People who want happy endings have to write their own. Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands!
Duty is heavier than a mountain, Death is lighter than a feather. Let the snow fall deep, the rain drive down, and the wind buffet my cloak. I care not for I've a road worth walking! I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Nothing burns in your heart like the emptiness of losing something, someone, before you truly have learned of its value. Often now I lift my cup in a futile toast, an apology to ears that cannot hear. Life is too precious to take for granted, and it is definitely too precious to let it slide into the perils of unknown worlds.

1 comment:

  1. This is a beautiful post, though it can be interpreted a number of ways. I hope it is the reflection of the past and looking to the brighter future rather than a resignation to succumb to any hardships you have experienced and escape. (Also, congrats on finishing BYU!)